It was a dark and stormy day today. After a whole day tantric massage and misc business works,  a perfect time if you’re feeling in the mood for a minor depressive episode, like the one I encountered when I overheard a friend of mine mumbling somberly for all ears to hear, ” If I were at the edge of a bridge today, I just might…”

“JUMP?!” I joyfully exclaimed. She looked up at me with sad, but curious eyes. I knew it would take a little shock and humor to pull him out of the hole she was in the midst of digging for himself.

I continued gleefully, “Tell me when and where! I’ll meet you there and give you a PUSH, in case you decide to hesitate!!”

The others looked at me with a mix of horror and awe, which was sort of what I was going for. It certainly shattered the gloominess in the air, momentarily. A smile was beginning to form at the corner of Mr. Suicidal’s lips. Her eyes grew brighter as she looked at me questioningly.

Now, that I had her attention, I had to make sure to keep her fixated for atleast a few minutes, whilst i did my magic.

“What you need, is a good strong cup of coffee and a piece of chocolate”. I reached over, handing him a piece of my Caramilk bar. This only made him shrug her shoulders and sigh. She was sinking again. “Ok ok, how about some nice chicken soup? Like grandma made?” Nope, she wasn’t going for that either.

“Nevermind then…What you need is a tall blond bombshell with a big rack to make it for you!”

Her pupils began to dilate. The excitement was oozing from her like a school girl who had just stumbled upon a dirty magazine for the very first time.“Like Cheryl Ladd?”, she asked hesitatingly and with an undertone of naughtiness.

“Sure! like Cheryl Ladd…” I replied approvingly, wondering about this mystery woman, capable of sparking such a thrilling display of fireworks, in a lonely and brooding middle-aged man. A movie star from the 70s…Long before my time.

It didn’t matter. Her mood was lifted and my job was done. There was a lightness and electricity in the room that drew others in like moths to a flame. It made him all the more alive and animated. Life became worth living again…
That is, as long as she had a voluptuous blond around to cook her chicken soup, even if she only existed in her mind…